Mei

It could be today. It could be tomorrow. It could be any time now. That our daughter is born.

In order to stagger our children's ages --for both their autonomy & our sanity-- our adoption application requests a daughter born after 1/1/09. Today! The thought of this --of her-- is tear jerking, in both its joy...and sadness. Joy because she is certain to fill our hearts and our lives with incredible love and happiness. Joy because she will be another child to love. Joy because I love her already. Sadness because she is likely to spend the better part of her first year in a back-country Chinese orphanage --possibly cold, possibly hungry, possibly sick, & definitely without the gentle, loving touch of a mother to hold her, to rock her, to whisper possibilities in her ear. Definitely without me.

But I choose to focus on the joy. On seeing her picture for the first time. On our eyes meeting. On holding her tight in my arms. On bringing her home where she belongs. Hurry home, Mei. Your mother --your life-- if waiting.