Wild Care Bear

If she's not running on the kitchen table,
she's climbing out of her crib.
If she's not scaling the shelves,
she's catapulting herself over the baby gate.
If she's not climbing into the bottom rack of the dishwasher,
she's climbing into the top rack.
If she's not jumping up and down on Josh's bed,
she's dancing on the coffee table.
If she's not sitting in a dresser drawer,
she's hurling herself onto the toilet.
If she's not standing on the toybox,
she's launching herself off the couch.

My Girl.

I love her like crazy.

Toddler Times

I look at him, asleep in my arms, and see the thousand laughs we've shared. Not the 24 time outs he had this morning alone. I see us splashing in the pool, jumping in the leaves, stomping in the snow & smelling the flowers of 3 years. Not the meltdown on the library floor. I see us playing hide & seek, strumming our guitars, & reading "No Matter What" one more time. Not him line-driving his sister into the refrigerator. I see bathtub waterfalls & mudpuddles. Silly songs & holding hands. I see a boy who will not always be a headstrong toddler, but will always, always be the light of my life.

NYR

My New Year's Resolutions (for perusal & ridicule)

1. To make a daily effort to focus on joy. OK, this isn't exactly measurable, but mood certainly follows perception and it's so easy to forget your bliss.
2. To cease & desist in my dozen-cookie-a-day habit... the holidays are over, man! South Beach is a callin'. And I'm about 25# over wedding weight!
3. To recycle whenever possible, even though the recycle bins are damn near 20 feet from the actual garbage --save the planet! And get fit while doing it!
4. To actually live within our budget --that means no charge card, no depleting savings, no pilfering from the kids' accounts (how'd they get so rich, anyway?). This should also help goal #2, as my addictions aren't cheap!
5. To just relax! ie, Focus on the kids' smiling faces at the park, rather than launching an attack of photography (Look at Mommy, Josh! Look at Mommy! Look! JOSH!!!)
6. To go to church weekly, unless we're out of town, have out of town guests, or are sick. It's either important, or it's not.
7. To entertain at least monthly in some capacity.
8. To increase my volunteering --and in a way that Josh & Cara can witness & as a result, be oh, so inspired.
9. To leave Eric with a prepared, healthy (if not delicious) dinner and bathed kids when I leave to teach each evening.
10. To embrace my flaws --I am the one who is still sewing Halloween costumes as guests are arriving for the party; who comes up with her lesson plans while driving to class; who wipes Cara's nose on her sleeve and then doesn't change her shirt; who notices the dirt under the toy box everyday --but never actually cleans it; who... oh, you get the picture.

And if nothing else, how's this: In 2009, I will at least moisturize.

Mei

It could be today. It could be tomorrow. It could be any time now. That our daughter is born.

In order to stagger our children's ages --for both their autonomy & our sanity-- our adoption application requests a daughter born after 1/1/09. Today! The thought of this --of her-- is tear jerking, in both its joy...and sadness. Joy because she is certain to fill our hearts and our lives with incredible love and happiness. Joy because she will be another child to love. Joy because I love her already. Sadness because she is likely to spend the better part of her first year in a back-country Chinese orphanage --possibly cold, possibly hungry, possibly sick, & definitely without the gentle, loving touch of a mother to hold her, to rock her, to whisper possibilities in her ear. Definitely without me.

But I choose to focus on the joy. On seeing her picture for the first time. On our eyes meeting. On holding her tight in my arms. On bringing her home where she belongs. Hurry home, Mei. Your mother --your life-- if waiting.